Why we have too few women leaders

I loved this video by the  COO of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg, on why we have too few women leaders. Her points really hit home for me. It is realistic, non-judgemental, and offers hope.

• Sit at the table: literally. We can't be influencers if we are sitting by the wall.
• Don't leave before you leave: push yourself hard up until the day you leave for maternity. We tend to "make space" for the potential baby and slow our career down before we need to.
• I especially liked the true partnership advise. She sites stats that say marriages that are true partnerships are 50% more likely to succeed. And be more "intimate". I love this. Perhaps it will influence some behavior changes around here!

I hope you enjoy this too. She is fun to watch and listen to.

http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2011/01/04/facebooks-sheryl-sandberg-why-few-women-lead/#

women managers need sponsors not mentors

To get to the top levels in an organization, we need a sponsor in the executive ranks. 


This means someone to advocate for us, to position us in high visibility roles, to introduce us to leaders and help us forge relationships with these people, to help us navigate the politics... someone who will use some of their own political capital to pull us along.


The Center for Work-Life Policy (CWLP) is releasing a study next month in the Harvard Business Review showing that women are not making it to the top ranks of leadership because they don't have the powerful backing required to push them there.


I've been calling these advocates "mentors". My coach and marketing guru has argued consistently that we can't have good mentors inside our own organization. I finally get it (thanks Mike). What we need are not mentors, what we need are SPONSORS. Mentors give advise and perspective. Sponsors aggressively pull you into the leadership ranks. Definitely need both... but mentors alone will not get you to the highest levels.


The CWLP says that having a sponsor boosts your prospect of advancement by 19% for women (and 23% for men).


So what is keeping women from getting these sponsors to help us along? 


Theory #1 - this relationship looks sketchy


I forwarded this article to my colleague and said I saw her having a very solid sponsor behind her in her last job. Then she reminded me of another situation...

She had a great sponsor... an influential leader, well networked, and able to pull her along to the highest visibility projects. He spent a huge amount of time with her, coaching her, introducing her formally and informally to the "right" people, supporting her through rough situations, providing air cover as she learned, and continuing to be her advocate at the leadership levels. This required a lot of time. Unfortunately one of his peers assumed they must be having an affair and reported it to HR. I can't imagine the embarrassment on both sides as they defended themselves publicly and privately. 

So the typical sponsor relationship can look a lot like an affair. A lot of wonderful opportunities are missed because men and women on both sides are reluctant to be perceived in this way.


But if the risk of people making incorrect assumptions is keeping us from forming these powerful relationships, how else do we get ahead? Can we make it less risky?


Theory #2 - we aren't comfortable creating these type of relationships


Having this sort of sponsor relationship will make us stand out as something special. We will get attention from our peers and our bosses. For women who have been trained not to brag and not to stand out from their peers, this can be really uncomfortable. It just takes a "who does she think she is" to make us wonder if it is worth it. 


I've seen women try to balance this by being totally self effacing about the relationship to the point that it is embarrassing. They won't take any credit for being worth this effort or even wanting to have this sort of attention. 


I wish we could be thrilled for ourselves and for our colleagues when one of us manages to get this level of support. This is good for all of us.

The old boys club

This morning over breakfast my dear friend shared a story of recent events that was so astounding it left me speechless (which is saying a lot).

They had finally found a highly qualified, proven, and experienced sales executive to join their team. The executive team convened to discuss the candidate. Oh BTW she happened to be a woman.

one guy's heated argument: we can't hire her! what will we do when we want to go play golf? this will totally mess up the team dynamics! 

CEO: do you hear what you are saying?

guy: but really, I am serious, this would really mess up the team and how we sell and what about when we want to go out drinking?

CEO: we are NOT having this conversation.

And this guy is in his early 40's.

I don't know if he ever did hear what he was saying. Or understood what it implied.

Makes me scared. and mad.