Happiness

We are hosting an au-pair from Germany. She has been here 8 months and is unhappy. We have tried to help... many conversations, suggestions, interventions, support, mediations, arguments. I worry that I'm not doing enough to help her make friends, involve her in our community, show her what is available in our town.

Last night I thought about what makes me happy and why. I decided to pull it all together into "points to remember every day."

ice cream makes me happy

1. We are responsible for making ourselves happy - sometimes we need direction and support but no one else can make it happen
2. We need to understand what makes ourselves happy - the small things (sitting alone in a coffee shop and reading a magazine? tickle time?) and the big things (family trips over the summer? vacationing with my sisters?)
3. We should focus on the little things every day and recognize when we are happy - so many moments pass by and we don't even notice - hey this feels good!
4. When we are unhappy we need to figure out what we need to get out of the slump - see a movie, visit with family, learn something new, read a book... otherwise it just gets worse and worse

Ultimately we need to understand ourselves and spend some time knowing who we are.

I worry that we are raising a generation that expects others to take care of them and "make them happy." People who can't figure out what to do to get out of the slump.

I have got to continue to push it back - this is your responsibility, not mine. Tell me what you need and I will try to help. But I can't enable this behavior. It is easy for me to fall into this role and then I get angry and frustrated.

I am going to focus on this at home... and at work. I wonder how I have been enabling others rather than pushing the responsibilities back on them. More observation required...